Pick Up A Pulp [83]: THE LOVING AND THE DEAD by Carter Brown

 

"This detective business is like necking - a girl needs to keep a cool head or suddenly it's too late..."

Mavis Siedlitz, the curvaceous blonde bombshell private eye finds herself smack bang in the middle of a family drama as her new case takes her to a secluded mansion stacked with potential murderers, cult-like torture chambers, and voices from the grave who haunt the living - sounds a little gothic doesn’t it?

Well, The Loving and Dead is more humour than horror with Mavis, once again filling out a role (not nearly as good as she fills out a tight dress) as a woman with loose morals and limited skills of deduction and reasoning (key requisites for a private eye one would assume). 

Hired to provide undercover protection for a client while posing as his wife, Mavis’s sole job (aside from not getting killed herself) is to see her client alive and well through 78hrs in the former residence of his deceased father; a condition set out in the fathers will. 

"...like Mr. Ebhart said,none of the other people who will be at the house have met his wife.They don't know what she looks like. He could take any girl up there with him and say she was his wife, and they wouldn't know the difference." [said Johnny]

    "I've got it!"I snapped my fingers. "Why don't you do just that? Get some dumb blonde to take the place of Mr. Ebhart's wife!" [said Mavis]

    "It's a wonderful idea," Johnny said. "We've already thought of it."

    "You have?" 

    "You."

Should the client and Mavis survive the 78hrs in the house, the client will receive a large inheritance. The only problem? The clients’ siblings stand to earn a pretty penny too – and, should any of the siblings not see it through the 78hrs, the remaining will walk away with a greater share of the inheritance. 

Much like the Honey West books, Carter Browns' Mavis Siedlitz series makes light of the protagonist, preferring to focus on slapstick comedy over hardboiled crime which fits the overall theme of the series - it's light hearted and doesn't take its self too seriously. I find this approach refreshing for a sub genre which can read pretty dark at times. 

In order to enjoy these books, you do need to suspend your sense of reality as the cases and their all-too-convenient conclusions are completely unbelievable but entertaining nevertheless. 

The Loving and the Dead is a pulp well worth picking up. 

Review: HIP HOP & HYMNS by Mawunyo Gbogbo

"It cost an arm and a leg just to live on your knees,

And I'm trying to keep my sanity, God help me please"

- Snoop Dogg, Midnight Love 

As an 80's kid growing up in Australia, Hip Hop & Hymns provided the nostalgic trip down memory lane I didn't know I was craving until after I'd consumed every crumb off my plate. Commonwealth Banks' Dollarmites program, Bi-Lo, The Source - these were parts of my childhood I got to relive through the authors' easy flowing writing style. Yet, Hip Hop & Hymns takes the trip further, providing a behind the curtains look at a perspective most Aussie kids aren't privy.

"To make bread I gotta steal for sport,

So I stole the show and made some pennies for my thoughts"

- Onyx, Last Dayz 

Dabbling in petty crime, exposure to drugs and alcohol and making bad decisions with members of the opposite sex paints a picture a lot of teenagers can relate. The raw honestly is refreshing and welcome. The ying to the yang in the ups and down of life is so eloquently depicted in Hop Hop & Hymns. 

"I rap divine Gods check the prognosis, is it real, or showbiz?

My window faces shootouts, drug overdoses,

Live amongst no roses, only the drama, for real"

- Nas, Memory Lane 

While there's plenty of drama, the strife life in Hip Hop & Hymns is accessible and relatable. The influence of circumstance and situational bias we experience as teenagers resonates throughout our adult lives and is beautifully articulated here. It's so pleasing to feel the profound impact rap has on author Mawunyo Gbogbo, equally as much as it has had in this reviewer's formative years. 

True, there's a distinct lack of shootouts or drug overdoses in this memoir (per the Nas reference above), however the themes of hardship, perseverance, resilience, and survival in the face of adversity resonate throughout the chapters. Despite featuring little reference to the Queensbridge emcee; Nas' early albums Illmatic and It Was Written were playing on constant rotation in my head as Mawunyo Gbogbo took me by the hand and walked me down her memory lane, not shying from any truths or tribulations as she laid bare her story for all. 

"So put your money on the bread winner.

I kick lyrics so dope that the brothers call em head spinners."

- Lady of Rage, Afro Puffs 

I get a kick out of reading 'feel-good stories', particularly those where real people overcome hardships, personal demons, and bad situations for the betterment of their growth and maturity. It's inspirational and relatable. Hip Hop & Hymns makes for a thoroughly enjoyable reading experience. 

Review: APESHIT by Carlton Mellick III

What in the hell did I just read?

I suspect that's a pretty common thought for most readers having just finished wading through the slick gory entrails of an extreme horror/bizarro book for the first time. 

I popped my bizarro cherry with APESHIT and I'm not sure how I feel about it;

Scared? A little. 

Sickened? Sure. 

Aroused? Hell no.

Interested in reading more? I think so...God help me...

APESHIT pits a group of horny isolated teens enjoying a trip away in a cabin in the woods, recently inherited by one of the groups' members against horror incarnate; deformed human like creatures who just don't die and who only want to inflict pain in the most gruesome way possible. Naturally the blood flows equal to other bodily fluids as the group is steadily picked off one by one in between bouts of weird sex and character development true to the bizarro theme. 

Once you get over the stomach churning murder scenes and equally stomach churning sexual escapades, APESHIT resembles a fine form of survival horror in similar vein to the Dead River series by legendary horror author Jack Ketchum.

I certainly recommended giving this one a shot but do so with eyes wide open. 

Review: BILLY SUMMERS by Stephen King

 

Billy Summers is a seasoned sniper, having previously crafted his trade in war time he’s now a gun for hire – with a catch; he’ll only take the job if the quarry is a ‘bad guy’. Which is where we pick up Billy’s post war occupation – being romanticized by an acquaintance in organised crime to take out another killer who took down the son of a media magnate. The rationale, whilst solid enough to abide by Billy’s morals, isn’t the quencher – the promise of a cool 1.5 million means this hit could be Billy’s ticket to retirement, closing the door on a bloody business.

Stephen King has a knack for writing great characters with equally interesting backstories which steadily seep through the narrative into the present day setting. Billy’s life as a sniper in the armed forces, and the way in which it was introduced via Billy’s present day cover as a budding author writing his memoirs made for a seamless switch across story lines, adding context and emotion to the character and his assignment. But that wasn’t the kicker; it was Alice, a character I won’t delve into because of spoilers but who stole the spotlight in a deserving way whilst emphasising Billy’s ‘hit man with a heart’ narrative. 

Author Max Allan Collins and his excellent Quarry series introduced me to these antiheroes and Billy Summers is a great addition to the theme. Not only does this book entertain, it pulls on the heartstrings, making for a more impactful reading experience. Highly recommend.